Expand and contract into love. Realize God within!

"We are told Biblically, and from other sources, that we are one with God and therefore God is within us. If this is true, why does man seek God everywhere but within himself? Now if man seeks God externally, could it not be for the same reason he seeks reasons for his illnesses and maladies by blaming external forces? If there is any truth in this it can be easily imagined why he also seeks external methods for dealing with them.



In the past (and even today) it was believed that man's illnesses were caused by evil forces (call them what you will) and ways were sought to exorcise these evil forces from the mind, or body. When Pasteur discovered the germ theory, he recreated the same situation in a more modern, scientifically acceptable form. Instead of blaming the evil forces, the blame was laid at the feet of the germ theory and the exorcism was done on parts of the body, as if the ‘diseased' part was ‘evil' and had to be removed, as it is in mastectomy. Pasteur is reputed himself to have seen his error in later years and realized that it was the soil that was important, not the seed (germs).



In simple terms, germs and viruses only become dangerous when the soil we have created for them is suitable for them to do their supposed ‘evil' works. Now if the body is created in His image, then surely it is self-healing, having its own medicine."

---Arthur Pauls



"Whereas the average individuals, 'often have not the slightest idea of what they are, of what they want, of what their own opinions are,' self-actualizing individuals have 'superior awareness of their own impulses, desires, opinions, and subjective reactions in general.'"

---Abraham Maslow



"Self-actualizing people have a deep feeling of identification, sympathy, and affection for human beings in general. They feel kinship and connection, as if all people were members of a single family."

---Abraham Maslow



"Basic characteristics of an individual organism: to divide, to unite, to merge into the universal, to abide in the particular, to transform itself, to define itself, and as living things tend to appear under a thousand conditions, to arise and vanish, to solidify and melt, to freeze and flow, to expand and contract. Since these effects occur together, any or all may occur at the same moment."

---Johann Wolfgang von Goethe



"In some sense man is a microcosm of the universe; therefore what man is, is a clue to the universe. We are enfolded in the universe."

---David Bohm



"Thought has been constantly evolving and we can't say when that system began."

---David Bohm



"Logic is the anatomy of thought."

---John Locke



"I want to know God's thoughts.....the rest are details."

---Albert Einstein



"When the solution is simple, God is answering."

---Albert Einstein



"But what if on some level we are made of sound? What if in the beginning was the Word? What if the music of the spheres is no myth? What if we ourselves are a harmonic convergence? What if the holographic grid of our being is a linguistic and musical interface between higher-dimensional light, which might be considered a form of divine thought or intention, and sound in higher-dimensional octaves?"

---Sol Luckman



Our hearts hold the key to a fulfilling life. [Right now. Right here. That is right! Our hearts.] For many years I have had conversations with various friends about life's purpose and our role in that purpose. [It's a regular type of conversation, right?] I have listened to many sadnesses manifest and then [eventually] dissipate because some of the friends had experienced "failure and brokenness" in their lives. I have experienced similar bouts of sadness. In fact, many of those moments dug into my flesh and transferred me over to clinical depression a time or two.



Psalm 37:4-5 says, "Delight yourself in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." This quote has been floating around "in my atmosphere" since I was a young girl. It always seemed so ominous and so unreachable. Many of my friends have experienced the same sort of thoughts about the Scripture.



We thought, "What am I doing wrong? How can I perfect my relationship with God so that He will give me the desires of my heart? Certainly, I must need to do something different. I am no where near reaching the desires of my heart."



The reality, though, is that God was not/is not keeping anything from us. He is/was the lover of our soul from our day one to the end of eternity (Whoops! there is no end to eternity). Well, you get what I mean.



As I learn about the holographic universe in which we live, I become cognizant of the fact that God, who is omnipresent, indeed, does live inside of me and outside of me all at once. And, when I start to reconcile with the fact that my heart contains all of Him all at once, my brain and spirit cause me to connect to how He is the biggest desire of our heart. And then, I know, without a doubt, that the desires of our heart are already met. They were given to us before we entered the earth plane as the body we are today. We simply need to open our bodies enough to experience all the treasures deep inside.



We must align ourselves with our truest Self to own this Truth. We are living in a time in history where this statement should not be baffling to us. We have so much knowledge, and we have the educational backgrounds to tackle that knowledge. Information is abundant and organized into neat and easy packages that we can digest and understand. This shouldn't be scary to us; and we definitely should not shut ourselves away in darkened ignorance and/or "black and white" inflexibility. [What a travesty when we do! How much horrible suffering is created from our rigid viewpoints that fail to see the biggest picture of all: God is the impossible. God is great!]



Our faith has been growing, expanding, evolving since day and night were conceived and then birthed by God Himself. The world is saturated in love that God is waiting for us to receive. All peoples have God within. All peoples are God's "select few." There is no "A-list" for God. We are all extremely important all the time.



As we learn to love our self, we learn who God IS. By trusting that we ARE everything we will ever need to be, we crack open all the empty promises of the planet we live on. We see who we really are and who we have always been. We are totally precious. We each are unique gifts God gave/gives Himself. Everything about us is lovable. We are love. Even the ugly, dark, and cantankerous parts of us are loved by God. Like we love children in the throws of a temper tantrum, God loves us. He knows why we do what we do. There are no secrets from Him. He made us in the innermost part of His being and we still exist right there. We are eternal. We are beautiful.

It is a practice for us to exhibit, feel, know and share love. But it should bring joy rather than suffering. The world around us is multi-leveled. The trick is to focus on your heart. Be very still. Listen to what your heart has to say. Does it need to feel healing before it can open itself to bigger and better things? Then, by all means, go inside yourself and determine what is in pain---what needs your attention. This may take awhile. Give this to yourself. You deserve it.

As you enter into your inner sanctum, step outside of the "experience of pain." Rather, review it like a movie. [The pain has left its memory. It is that memory that must be addressed.] Witness all it has to tell you, and when it finally settles down, visualize the white light ("the hand of God") reaching around and through the hurt. Feel His softness. Feel the profound sense of love penetrating every aspect of yourself. Stay in this place until it feels good to let go.

If you are currently experiencing pain, visualize yourself turning the situation pink. Where angst, difficulty, or injury are present, let go of your mind's hold. Rest, and let the room fill with the pink light. Breathe deeply. Concentrate on the breath. If you can, transform the moment into something positive and/or serene. If you can't, just stay with the color. Trust that you ARE exactly where you need to be. Be aware of your body. Lean into the color if the situation seems to intensify. When the situation resolves itself, step out of the pain as you step out of the color. Be compassionate to yourself and to those involved.

If your heart is pain free, then listen to what else it has to say. You don't need to be in pain to listen. You can just as easily feel joy when you still yourself to hear your heart's truth. What does your heart want from you? What can you do for it? What can it do for you? Does it just want to talk for awhile? Take the time you both require. You are One. This is how your heart's desires are made known. If this is a short practice at first, it is ok. Again, you can trust that you ARE experiencing life and your heart exactly as you must. God's perspective is always eternal; but despite the timelessness, He has every hair on your head counted and taken care of. Open yourself to His loving touch. It is right here. Feel His presence. Know Him. Love Him. You are His and you always will BE. Trust.


Every desire is waiting to come to fruition. Every desire grows inside you. You don't need to go outside yourself. You are all you need. Be yourself. Let yourself live the best life you can possibly imagine. God is able. God is inside your everything. Believe!

"We are what we repeatedly do."---Aristotle

"Life is the opportunity to engage with experience, either consciously or unconsciously. It is the gift of choice to use our attention and intention- or not- as we inhabit these beautiful bodies for a relatively brief time. "---Unknown


I am not at all concerned with appearing to be consistent. In my pursuit after Truth I have discarded many ideas and learnt many new things.---Gandhi


Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment. ---Lao Tzu


True observers of nature, although they may think differently, will still agree that everything that is, everything that is observable as a phenomenon, can only exhibit itself in one of two ways. It is either a primal polarity that is able to unify, or it is a primal unity that is able to divide. The operation of nature consists of splitting the united or uniting the divided; this is the eternal movement of systole and diastole of the heartbeat, the inhalation and exhalation of the world in which we live, act, and exist. ---Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.---Aristotle


There is a principle which is the basis of things, which all speech aims to say, and all action to evolve, a simple, quiet, undescribed, undescribable presence, dwelling very peacefully in us, our rightful lord: we are not to do, but to let do; not to work, but to be worked upon.---Ralph Waldo Emerson


When you cut corners or when you undermine others for the sake of ego or profit, you are only hurting yourself.---Mitch Thrower


Beloved, gaze in thine own heart, The holy tree is growing there; From joy the holy branches start, And all the trembling flowers they bear. ---William Butler Yeats

I feel that I am a "bridge" between various groups of people. I have spent my life sitting squarely on some type of metaphorical fence. Don't misunderstand me, I have not been a shirker. I just more often than not saw the merits of each side of the metaphorical fence. This "straddled" position has been quite difficult at times; and, I have definitely fallen to or fro occasionally. [There were some periods in my life where I fell big time!] For example, sometimes my position on the fence was obviously skewed to one side so that I was able to choose quite simply..for if I didn't choose, I would inevitably land face first on the side that was decidely stronger.

Check out what I mean:

As a very small child I grew enamored with humanitarian work. I think I must have connected very deeply to the children who were displayed on TV commercials regarding poverty and "adoption." You know the ones I am talking about. There were many organizations that "got behind" the orphaned, overseas children. The TV commercials would feature a desperate child---hungry, destitute, quite possibly sickly. And then the organizations would lay out a plan to rectify the child's situation. That plan was usually something like: "For just $.25 a day a poor child's life can completely be turned around. You can 'adopt' a child and write to them as they grow and flourish with your support."

I felt for each child I saw. How could I not? Between those emotionally charged advertisements and all the National Geographic magazines in the storage cabinets in my basement, I gleaned a heart for altruism; and, that heart dictated that I see the stance of many.

Once, my family's church put together care packages for impoverished countries. I loved every minute that I "built the care" I put into the packages. For me, adding a toothbrush to each of the little boxes was so exciting and so inviting.

Isn't it strange what you remember as you age?

My mother has always been altruistic. In fact, her career path has been dedicated to the lives of sick and hurt people. She is a registered nurse. I think I must have picked up on her Way the minute I left her womb. Or maybe I carried it with me from her womb! Nevertheless, despite her altruistic persona, she and I have really struggled to relate since my early childhood. We are quite polarized. She is a strong-minded individual that believes this, that, and the other... I am a strong-minded individual that believes that, this, and you know...whatever! [And to further clarify, I am the last born of my heavily male-dominated clan which probably made me a very difficult life for both my parents to bear.]

I am very sure, though, that my desire to serve people is a direct result of being my mother's daughter. [I cling to that.] You know, as a child, while she went places and did things I was with her all the time. To some extent, I am sure I often looked like a carbon copy of her. But, I don't think I felt like that carbon copy.

Mom always talks about the cyclical effect of relationships. In fact, I know that one of her key viewpoints throughout life has been the establishment of balanced relationships. In other words, if someone asks you to come over to their house and visit, then the next time you invite them over to your house. Simple, right? No, not so simple. What I have learned is that all families are unique. All families have their own mores. All families interpret life differently. And I am just one person in the big scheme of things. [I swear I did not connect with this realization until I was half way through my thirties! Wow! Naive? Maybe.]

The premise of balanced relationships is good and desirable; but, its implementation needs flexibility. I didn't have that "flexibility" conceptualization as I grew up. I had the black and white viewpoint that if one of my friends did not come through with a balanced proposal, then I was to walk away from the whole kit and kaboodle. That hurt me a lot. It hurt me when I learned it. And it hurt me as I attempted to live it. As I became an adult, I really sensed the imbalance in the concrete ideology. [Ironic!] But, I didn't know how to fix the imbalance it was that much of an inherent part of me at that point.

By 27, I tried to solidify my beliefs and root them into the "ground." I thought I knew the way the world rotated and subsequently operated. I was very Bible oriented (another very rigid system of thought) due to my hopes and fears. My heart was still service-directed. I studied and studied to be "worthy" of my God's attention and love. The "worthy" perspective is what I KNEW from growing up in a family of high achievers and strong leaders. If I worked hard, I would know God. [If I worked hard, my parents would show me love. If I worked hard my brothers would be proud of me. If I worked hard people around me would be impressed.]

Ok... I am sure you can see that this is where things got so tricky and convoluted for me. As a member of the Protestant Church, I understood the "salvation through grace alone" principle. But I, also, knew all the other Biblical stuff---especially the Old Testament stuff. And I knew the Church. [I, actually, taught Bible when I moved to Hong Kong.] And, I, of course, was the me I WAS. Nothing seemed to gel for me, but it didn't matter. I was highly conflicted, but it didn't matter. I thought, "If I kept my head down and pushed ahead, somewhere along the way things would get better!"

Despite my confusion, I was passionate about missions work. I wanted to connect people. My spirit pierced the veil of ordinary life. I wanted to do something grand for God. I wanted to serve Him with every last speck of myself. I wanted to see my humanitarian efforts fufilled face-to-face. I wanted to know God's love on a broad scale. I wanted to give of myself completely. [What a combo!!! Wow, did I actually think all that was possible? Yes. And it WAS for awhile.]

{Hong Kong burst forth on the scene. An art teaching position was waiting for me overseas. Teenagers that I will never forget came into my world. And I FELT love that was so huge and all encompassing. Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful!}

Prior to leaving for my overseas position, I was told about a book that would open my eyes to a path I would continually pursue over a decade or more. It was called Eternity in Their Hearts. The book discussed a joining thread of truth which runs through every culture on the earth. The overiding statement of belief for the book was that every man/woman on the planet has evidence of and know God in their hearts.

The book was created for missionaries. The general idea was that the missionaries reach out to all the peoples of the earth in the "common place" that we all already share. It denounced the practice of stating, "I am right. You are wrong." Instead it might say, "Look, we share the love for the rising and the setting of the sun. We share the desire to experience that which is bigger than we each are. Etc..."

Initally, I saw this beautiful book from a Protestant Christian missionary's perspective. Though I reached to others through their "common place" with me; beneath it all, I felt I was the leader for them to come to God. I, afterall, was of Christ! The one true yada yada. [Whaaa!!!] Ok...I was in my twenties and I was very head strong. I was mixed up and determined all at once. [Whaaa!!!] Please forgive my ignorance. Please forgive that walk. I was well-intentioned.

The book speaks to me a different way now. Now it sheds light on the reality that God already lives in every person and thing. As we each become aware of ourselves and our relationship with others, we naturally call up The Power within.

I came home from my Hong Kong "God moment" broken. The overall experience had been unimaginable and glorious. I had been given a brand new lease on life. Everything was shiny and fresh. The breath in my body was practically the only thing that did not shift and change when I moved to the New Territories of Hong Kong. But, all of that ended. Abruptly. And I came home feeling shame, frustration, devastation and much, much more.

It took me years to recover and regain a sense of self. Those years were frequently very excruciating. But looking back, with the benefit of the great retrospective view, I can now see what this universe had in store for me. I can now see what life was doing with me and for me. I was opening to a world that I never knew existed. And it is my current belief---which, of course, is on a continuum---that I experienced what I experienced so that I could understand my brothers and sisters of the earth. And most of all, so that I could understand me rather than the myth of me.

I returned from Hong Kong cognizant of how little my outlook was when I went overseas to save the world for God. Think about that word save. Did God somehow really need me to do anything for Him? [Dispel the fact that He is an inclusive, team oriented entity.] When I thought of the ramifications of that belief, I was nearly blasted from here to Kingdom Come! Would God literally let His very precious creations---His children---just die? Furthermore, would He just let the same creations be subject to an inferno called Hell, because they missed MY message regarding Jesus??? Or, for that matter, anybody else's message?

Is it any wonder that I felt tremendous pressure to perform with that type of world view? [But at that time, I DID feel that intense necessity to go forth and spread God's word. My altruistic self could not stomach a damned population.]

I thought of God as incomprehensibly huge one second, and then in the next second, I penciled Him into a box that could fit into the eye of a flea. And to boot, I was surrounded by well-meaning people who did the exact same thing as me. My Church community "fostered" Godliness, and it assured me that I would have pure thoughts that would lift my spirit to heaven. [I have always been an idealist.] In addition, the community would give me accountability to keep me on the straight and NARROW path to Jesus.

Again, let's examine the word narrow. In such a context, only by the exceptionally small grace of God would people be chosen to be a Christian. Hey! maybe to be a Christian; but what about a citizen of the earth?

As I look back, I am dumbfounded by my old belief system. To me, now, it seems shocking. Yet, it was my belief system for years. And what grounded me to that belief system was fear. As a child, I knew nothing of the word salvation. I knew God was love. I knew God loved the people of the world---whether yellow, red, black or white. It wasn't until I went through the Church education programs that I learned to discriminate and be exclusive.

My service oriented heart desired the redemption of ALL mankind. But, my devotion to my church kept most of mankind in 'slavery' to sin.

As I review this, it seems easy and straight forward that God is unfathomably huge, and that He IS/WAS/WILL ALWAYS BE a Spirit of Love. It seems totally recognizable that He is all powerful, He is all present, and He is all knowing which makes Him the God of the Impossible. But 10 years ago I couldn't see it. I couldn't know it. I saw only the smallness I knew.

I listened to others about who God was. I let them dictate the parameters of Heaven's gate. Despite my trueness of heart, I got caught up in the vision of man because I knew no better. I stopped the impossible. I grasped an infinity wrapped inside a tiny cage.

My return from the mission field brought me to God's great reality. Love is eternal. This can be confusing if you only know philos and/or eros. But, if you understand and know Agape, you will never be able to seriously doubt the power of true love. Agape is the amazing all encompassing love of God.

I now believe we all have a Way. Sometimes the Way will be solitary. Sometimes the Way will be shared. But the Way is our path to the Divine within. I firmly believe that every life form on this planet was born out of love. I, also, believe that we are all One. We may be unaware of it, but that does not negate the fact that we were created from the heart of the Great I AM. I don't care what you call Him/Her/It. In a society that is multicultural and multilingual, it stands to reason for me that God is Big enough to translate our precious lives into the love He envisioned in the Beginning. I don't care what kind of mess we might perceive. Order and Chaos are as they should be.

"We are what we repeatedly do." We have the capacity to own this statement that Aristotle made many years ago. We have the capacity to feel, give and receive love. As we repeatedly love, we will start to see what we truly are---love itself.

This may seem challenging, but it is not impossible. The Divine resides in us and outside of us. Therefore, anything we can conceive we can achieve. Practice does make perfect...one step at a time.

My life is a living prayer born from the altruistic efforts of my mother. Hopefully, it is a bridge to the hearts of mankind. That is my fondest wish. For at least three years I have been striving to experience and give love each day that I exist in this incarnation. I can see and feel the difference in my life. Certainly I often fail. But I, also, believe that each of us (including me) will reconcile with the "loving path" at some point in our journey. I believe that today may be your reconcilation point. If not, no worries. God is big enough and patient enough to see you all the way through to your Way. He doesn't need me to make that happen. He doesn't need anyone or anything to make that happen. But, He may choose to include someone in the loving. That is His Way.

He IS Love. We ARE of Him. We are love. May your love rush to meet Him. His heart awaits you. Of this, I am sure!

I am willing, because I deserve the very best in life.

"I am deserving. I deserve all good. Not some, not a little bit, but all good. I now move past all negative, restricting thoughts. I release and let go of the limitations of my parents. I love them, and I go beyond them. I am not their negative opinions, nor their limiting beliefs. I am not bound by any of the fears or prejudices of the current society I live in. I no longer identify with limitation of any kind.

In my mind, I have total freedom. I now move into a new space of consciousness, where I am willing to see myself differently. I am willing to create new thoughts about myself and about my life. My new thinking becomes new experiences.

I now know and affirm that I am at one with the Prospering Power of the Universe. As such, I now prosper in a number of ways. The totality of possibilities lies before me. I deserve life, a good life. I deserve love, an abundance of love. I deserve good health. I deserve to live comfortably and to prosper. I deserve joy and happiness. I deserve freedom to be all that I can be. I deserve more than that. I deserve all good.

The Universe is more than willing to manifest my new beliefs. And I accept this abundant life with joy, pleasure, and gratitude. For I am deserving. I accept it; I know it to be true."
---Louise Hay, Love yourself, heal your life, p.12


Learning to re-create yourself is simple. However, the path to renewal may require some time, effort, and/or commitment. You are worth every ounce of investment you put into yourself. Picture yourself every day nurturing the "seed" of your life into fruition. In other words, as you begin upon YOUR path, visualize yourself planting a tiny little "seed of change" into the dark, rich soil of the mighty planet below you. The earth is abundant and wealthy! Smile as you imagine the size, color and shape the "seed of change" will become. Water the "plant" in your mind by affirming yourself daily. You are a creation of God. He graced you with His everlasting and omnipotent love the minute He conceived you. You are love itself!

I have bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed 16 years ago while I was going to school at University of Florida. It was a terrifying experience that has shaped and molded me over many years.

First of all, I must explain---give you a little background---that my best friend from grade school and junior high school got Viral Encephalitis when we were starting eighth grade. She almost died three times. She sustained temporary brain damage. As a result, she lost most of her inhibitions, and one day as she returned to school full-time, she threw over her desk in a fit of rage projected at my English teacher. It was shocking and horrible. I'll never forget how awful I felt that day. Eventually, the same emotional disturbances brought our friendship to an end. I was crushed and felt so much guilt that I could not make things work out between us. That guilt burrowed itself within me.

At 21, my mental health situation was far more grave than the temporary dysfunctionality of my former best friend's life. My situation was classified as permanent. I was handed medication and was told not to stop taking it or things would get so much worse. I felt trapped and confused. I felt guilty that my body-mind had broken in two. I immediately assumed total responsibility for my condition. I had no understanding of the condition, but I knew it was all my fault for getting it.

As my brain entered into a devastating trip of ups and downs, I began to seek forgiveness for my sinful thoughts, desires and actions. (Of course, I thought, it must have been my immorality at the base of all things!) The inner instability was, also, relatively constant at that time. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't manage it well. My physical self became completely new, and not for the better. I gained a lot of weight. My skin became corrupted. My hands began to tremor severely. I was catapulted into a life of all-consuming fear. My only sustenance then was my ever-increasing belief in my Heavenly Father. He became my constant.

Long story made very short: I transferred my guilt into a heart for missionary work. This is a pattern for me. Even now. I take one ideology and transform it into something new. And, I like and tend to share my transformations (Afterall, if I am hurt from something, maybe someone else is hurt from the same kind of thing.). As I have matured, I have worked more and more toward benevolance, compassion and/or love.

When I was young, I experienced things as most young people do---through black and white lenses. My missionary work, I sadly recount, occurred during the latter part of my youth. I became quite a zealot within the Christian Church. There are good things and bad things that can be said about that period of my life. And, I do believe every aspect of our lives has reason and meaning. Each aspect can be learned from. I can grow and develop from everything that happens to me and for me. We all can.

But, I still harbor a bit of sadness because the overall missionary experience was one of the most cherished events of my existence to date, and I wish I had the opportunity to make it better---to refine it more than I did.

My missionary work ended "prematurely." I had my second recorded manic episode while I lived overseas in Hong Kong. At this point, I realized my disease was not due to sin. [Within reason, I knew how dedicated to Christianity I was. And, I certainly gained a very dynamic relationship with God at that point in time.] But, again, I had no idea why the disease was a part of my world. And I never overcame all of the guilt I had been living with. I returned to the United States quite ill, over-medicated and forlorn. I would have remained in Hong Kong for at least another two years if I had managed to stay healthy.

It took me another two years or so, but I eventually realized my disease was just a disease. I then transformed my life into a battle against mental illness. I connected with a young man who was 10 years younger than myself who had very severe mental health issues, and I began to reach out to him so that he would know how to better take care of himself. I learned everything I could learn about Bipolar Disorder. I intended to conquer it. [Ah, the embattlement mentality!!!]

I grew up in a household of men. My father was once military and he, actually, sat in a missile silow during the Cuban Missile Crisis. He "ordered" his children according to his military mind-set. I was the youngest and the only girl of his four children. I didn't really "get" the proper military groove-on. But, apparently, I incorporated the military mind-set into my overall view of life. Ironically, when I was in my "High Christian"(like the High Church of England versus the contemporary, non-denominational Churches of the US) phase, I was participating in the "Onward Christian Soldier" movement that I had learned of as child while I listened over and over to the old, Christian song. I found my war! First as a missionary. Second as a mental health patient.

But, eventually, my illness brought me to a new phase: Peace.

It is not easy to overcome a warring mentality, but bipolar disorder disabled every bit of energy I had---even to fight for my life. In 2004, I laid down my "armaments." I nearly died in a psychotic, depressive episode that followed three exhausting years of rapid cycling. And as I was graced with a medication that would, finally, give me enough stability to enable me to take steps to become whole, again, I learned of my new path for peace.

I began studying some holistic literature that my boyfriend at the time hooked me into. I began to know a completely different approach to living. I took some yoga classes where I learned compassion for myself and my body. I was amazed by what was available to me but I knew relatively nothing about. The student in me delved deeply into the various schools of thought that I once would have considered evil/wrong/sinful. For the first time in years, I was starting to live again. I was starting to resolve the guilt.

It was then that I understood how shallow our understanding of life and God often are. And I could hear the words in my head, "Lean not on your own understanding..."

At that point, I began to let go---one tiny bit at a time. [Certainly not quickly.] I began to change. I began to know my own Divine self---God who is in me. I remembered my earlier experiences in life when my world was filled with words and artistry. And, I began to create. Eventually, I happened upon visualization techniques to overcome difficulties, and I began to employ them.

Perhaps people looking on would see nothing different from my life. I, however, see a lot. I have remained psychosis-free for 3.5 years. I feel stronger than I have felt in over 10 years. I have purpose, and I can remind myself that situations today are not the situations from yesteryear---they are totally different. My creativity is active and growing in scope. My attitudes are quite healthy. Negativity is seen as an opportunity to transform. Love is my focus. When I get down on myself, I actively work to go back inside myself and re-create a better scenario.

I feel that it is important for me to share my experiences with all those who will listen. My experiences are a footprint or two of God. My heart contains a lot of wisdom.

When we realize that we are all children of the Divine, we overcome anything or anyone who states that we are undeserving. We deserve love. We deserve kindness. We deserve the belief that we are all One. If we see anything different than that, we deserve the opportunity to transform our viewpoints. We deserve to know how unlimited our lives are.

Plant the "seed of change" in the soil below you. Let it be nurtured by all that life IS. Let the "seed" grow strong and resiliant to the adversities that are merely illusions. You are beautiful. Let yourself deserve your love. Let yourself know your love. Love is abundant. Love is infinite. Love IS you. You are love.

Visualize your change right now. You deserve it!

Convinced savagely that we are bound to someone else's perspective.

I often try to connect the dots of life in order to make sense of all I see, say and do----in order to find my Way. I am often quite successful. And sometimes I just make a pretty picture. Regardless, I continue to work at joining each dot I encounter to another!



All of us have mortal bodies, composed of perishable matter, but the soul lives forever: it is a portion of the Deity housed in our bodies.

---Flavius Josephus



What is lovely never dies, But passes into other loveliness, Star-dust, or sea-foam, flower or winged air.

---Thomas Bailey Aldrich



The beautiful are never desolate; someone always loves them--God or man. If man abandons, God himself takes them.

---Phillip James Bailey



I would warn you that I do not attribute to nature either beauty or deformity, order or confusion. Only in relation to our imagination can things be called beautiful or ugly, well-ordered or confused.

---Benedict Spinoza



Nothing's beautiful from every point of view.

---Horace



In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of "beauty. "

---Christopher Morley



You've got to sing like you don't need the money, love like you'll never get hurt. You've got to dance like no one is watching. It's gotta come from the heart, if you want it to work.

---Susannah Clark



Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.

---Chief Seattle




I had a conversation with a co-worker this morning that centered around the pressures of American society regarding beauty. In my opinion, it is a hard topic to wrap my head around. This country was built on blood, sweat and tears. And "survival of the fittest" has been a rather constant theme of Western society since its earliest times. It is through these historical doors that we gather our current belief systems. Our current belief systems shape everything we do---whether that is learning, earning or loving.



Absorbing advertising is a national pastime. You can find it in American print and electronic media as well as in people's rhetoric [That encapsulates billboards, automobile siding, as well as magazines, newspapers, Internet, radio, TV and more]. You name it, we read it, hear it or see it incessantly. And, that means we are, also, incessantly incorporating the advertising into our belief systems---cognizantly or incognizantly, it matters not!

I can remember watching cartoons as a child on Saturday morning and being immediately influenced by the enticing commercials that played during the cartoon breaks. Count Choccula, McDonald's Big Macs, and Smurf dolls were among three of the myriad of items that powerfully and seductively broke through into my young mind as being "vitally" important.

America is "a world" that primarily supports and maintains capitalism. Virtually everything its citizens believe in centers around some form of marketing. I find myself encensed when I realize how deeply influenced by the "almighty dollar" [among other things] we have been as a country. Our very identities often stem from our ability to be seen and heard as strong, confident, and beautiful; and all of these traits are defined by our worth as seen by others.

But what if we are not one or any of those [or at the very least not viewed as one of those]? Many aren't. And those many are intentionally left behind daily so that the nation as a whole can survive and thrive. The fittest climbs "onto the heads of the weak" and then onto someone else's head which may be a tinsy bit stronger, until he/she arrives at the top of the heap just to be "thrown over" by someone more fit than him/her. Nature at its finest!!!

But, what about that quote that says, "A chain is only as strong as its weakest link"?

I got in a conversation with someone a little over two years ago. We began discussing the travesty of Hurricane Katrina. From there, we began discussing health care. I have a chronic illness. My sights are, naturally, on the importance of good health care. Anyone who lives the nightmare of not being treated for an illness or disease because of poor/no health care [or even OK health care that is riddled with caps], would most likely take the same stance as me. The person and I who were discussing our nation's health care, quickly came to heads. He did not believe in saving the individuals affected by poor health care. He believed in saving a group---hopefully, but not necessarily, a big group. He subscribed to the concept that saving the individual is an impossibility.

I, of course, take issue with this position. It is dollar-oriented rather than people-oriented. In my mind, we must work to save as many individuals as possible. This is not easy, and it most likely will not readily happen. We might only manage to save some group as well with the uncertain process involved. But, the other option---the save some big group option---is destined to automatically weed out anyone who is not in the population of people [whatever that population maybe] being considered. Do we try for the "impossible" and possibly end victoriously, or do we settle for one favored group making it to the top of the heap?

That is the crux of our nation: freedom to choose between right or left. Freedom to choose!

But, advertising and marketing frequently influence people without notice. One of those influences is in the realm of beauty and self worth. Our country is saturated with "body image consciousness." But to what end? Young people are savagely convinced that their realities are bound to someone else's perspective [even their parents' view points]. And when that "someone else" is a massive group-think [a people's majority], children are easily crushed and molded.

"Self-esteem is a feeling of self-worth, self-confidence, and self-respect." http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&defl=en&q=define:self-esteem&sa=X&oi=glossary_definition&ct=title Advertising and marketing are two huge ploys that squash the self-esteem of some while bolstering the egos of others.

An example of a fast-growing influence from advertisers and marketing reps is the popular concept of the "Smiths and the Joneses." This principle has always been in affect one way or another; but, today, the phenomenon rampantly grows without ceasing. My aunt and I live in a house that has been family "owned" for over forty years. The property has gone from sitting on a little, two-lane road, country environment to a fast-growing prime real estate environment. I often say to friends and relatives, "Who can afford these houses they are building/selling like hot cakes?" The usual answer, "I am clueless. People must be living from hand to mouth." [i.e., People are employing the Smith and Jones belief system.]

Can Americans afford the life styles they are leading??? Probably not.

Getting back to the point of self-esteem, I must say that I hurt for so many people. I know what it is to not love myself. I know what it is to be confused and astounded by life. I know what it is to hinge on someone else's word for approval; and, also, for a sense of vision. There is nothing worse than realizing a dream that is being pursued has nothing to do with me and has everything to do with someone else.

Self-esteem develops from truly and deeply understanding that each person in the world has merit and worth. Each person is inherently beautiful! And that beauty begins to shine, glow and become noticable from an inner sense of knowing one's infinity and one's uniqueness. Despite our physical (facades) bodies, we each have beauty to give and receive. Our strength and confidence cannot be removed when we realize and practice that we were created in and from the greatest love that IS.

But our countrymen, young and old, are daily, sold a bill of goods quite to the contrary. Think about the concept of supply and demand! Each one of has some sort of weakness that advertisers and marketing reps prey on. It might be physical body images [Ugg! my behind is too big, my legs are too scrawny, my teeth aren't white enough, Whatever! We have some sort of issue that we feel needs "outside" support.]. It might be financial status. It might be anything we try to hide, or we wish weren't a part of us. Anything we can't accept about ourselves.

But, the bottom line is that we must rebel from such ideations and predatory notions. We must one by one connect the dots of who we all are. And that is: We are ONE. However we get there is not so important. Getting there is imperative!!!

"Group-think" power works for positive or negative. If we choose to make it work for us, we adhere to the philosophy that we must "think globally and act locally." One by one we stop enabling the negative thinking and behaviors. We, currently, see ourselves as needing support from outside ourselves. This is not so ( at least in theory). In theory, we can definitely adopt the power of our inner and higher self quite immediately. We can instantly believe in and know the Divinity which resides in each of our hearts. It just takes recognition and belief---then the practice of the belief. But, for some, that course of action is a little grandiose.

So for those that need a little assistance, we can support one another to believe in the belief of inner knowing and strength. Some may be most comfortable doing this by ascribing to some sort of "faith" mechanism (i.e., God, a deity, a holistic format, etc.). [It is important that people come to a point of recognition as comfortably as possible.] The assistance is a brief venue which ultimately empowers people as individuals. The assitance is not some sort of dogma.

As we (they) begin to understand the point of empowerment, we let go of the assistance---the "crutches." In other words, we begin to trust the process. We cease to help. Enabling is not allowed. There is no need. The individuals begin to know themselves like never before, and the individuals begin the process of individuating. They learn who they are one breath and one belief step at a time.

We must give away the pain of believing in someone else's superiority. Even as children, we must learn what we already come into this world knowing---we are everything we ever need to be. We must simply trust the process. We must know ourselves before we know anything else.

Most of us do not get the opportunity to retain this inner knowing as we grow and become "independent." For most of us, it is a learning path. That is perfect. We are the path. We are the Way. By holding to the old patterns of "survival of the fittest," we limit ourselves to what we can conceive. By opening ourselves to the Divine within, we give ourselves the roads of impossibility and love.

No one should be savagely bound to someone else's small view point---especially when that view point denies who we really are.

We are love. We can stand as One in the heart of the Great I AM. We are One in the heart of the Creator. Let's become aware. Let's practice our love for ourself!